“I just asked for gluten-free buns and no ice in the lemonade,” said the shell-shocked father of three. “Next thing you know, we’re in a kill box.” Fortunately, casualties were limited to a 2008 Dodge Caravan and a flower planter. The Chick-fil-A location is reportedly working with AI developers to dial back sensitivity settings after…

Now available in Google Play and Apple App stores. Not available for residents of South Dakota.

Taking a page from Costco’s playbook, this MSP’s “loss leader” campaign is finger-lickin’ strategic. “We’ve seen NOC revenue jump 215% in the past quarter,” said MSP Owner John Witherow, proudly handing out hot birds and pamphlets on hybrid cloud architecture. Customers report showing up for dinner and leaving with a 36-month Microsoft licensing commitment. “I…

It took less than twelve milliseconds to come up with this ranking. Rounding out the top 3 are the “Diddy-Done-It Brunch” and “Toaster-in-the-Tub Game.”

After playing every role in Hollywood, Pedro Pascal says this one is personal. “To finally embody Clippy — a misunderstood icon — is a dream come true.” Pascal will produce and star as the animated assistant-turned-tragic hero. .J.J. Abrams is set to direct the epic rise, fall, and resurrection of Microsoft’s most helpful paperclip. This…

McDonald’s fan favorite is back to critical acclaim. Experts warn that while the Snack Wrap might be savory and satisfying, using it as a password is McDumb. “We’re not saying people should be locked out of their bank accounts for this,” said one IT admin. “But we’re also not… not saying that.”